i dont 'do' god, i do 'do' the spirit of compassion

I do believe in the spirits of unconditional love, compassion, wisdom and kindness. These energies are beyond male and femaleness, higher than mere masculinity or feminity. Spirit is energy in many different frequencies, some frequencies are so high they are beyond our ezperience unless we raise our own freequency and that is what i beleive we need to do on this and other walks, Raise our frequency. To lower oursel es to the lower frequency of worship is to be stuck, cop out of taking control of our own spirituaal responsibility, to use a godheads name to act on a lower frequency.

What I would do if I was to lifecoach Leah.

Leah from Big Brother 7 seemed to me to be a tortured soul. Always trying to please everyone. She had had much surgery to make herself look acceptable to others who didn't even know her.
She had a big heart and personality but needed reassurance.

She was a lovely person, but didn't accept herself as that, rather she referred to not wanting to be judged by other people. She had a massive problem with other people's perception of her.

As a Life Coach & Reiki Specialist I would teach her that the compassionate, kind and successful person she is is what counts. She doesn't seem to realise that people usually judge others by their actions and interactions with them - I would work with her to help her see that.

She was a very supportive person in the BB7 house, her supportiveness is a major attribute. It would be lovely to help her look inwards and see the beautiful soul that is hidden within.

With all of us, the soul is hidden because just as the soul can feel life and beauty and love very deeply, it is also vulnerable to pain. When a child is born the soul is there offering love to all, slowly the pain a child feels, in its vulnerable state, as it is put down and moulded by the treatment it receives from others, leaves the child afraid to offer love, trust and kindness. Fear of being disappointed by the reactions of others or fear of being hurt when offering from the heart or fear of having enthusiasm and excitement stamped on leaves the child hiding it's true soul light to protect itself from further pain. Often, the most obnoxious children are just lashing out before they can be hurt...the shield that people put around their heart and soul to protect themselves becomes harder and harder. One form of defence is attack and when someone is fearful of being hurt they will not trust and prefer to attack others rather than put trust in yet another being who may well let them down.

Is the need to have surgery to fit in with the expectations of others another form of defense?

People who explore the reasons they have hidden the true beauty of their soul do so from an adult viewpoint. They are able to strengthen themselves and being to realise that those who put them down when they were young and vulnerable had their own problems. Many spiritual techniques, such as Reiki and positive support techniques such as life coaching ultimately lead to the client being able to express their true self without feeling fear. When the soul is rediscovered then the opinions of others melt into insignificance.

Leah has a beautiful soul, what she looks like gives a false impression...is it possible that the surgery she as had is another layer of the shield.

Up to date case histories.

B. is feeling as if she has her control back and is able to keep organised and on top of the council work, as well as keeping her hobby of beadcrafts going for her own aesthetic pleasure and fulfillment.

She was organising her holiday and felt confident she would be able to go without feeling as if she still had lots to do.

D. has started writing her book and is making it easy on herself so she can enjoy it rather than feeling pressured. She is happier in herself. I suggested she saw the actual writing of the book as an adventure, and enjoyed the challenges to keep writing when she was feeling as if she could find other things to do. She has committed to writing 3 hours a week.

P. has worked with her anchor and swish tools to think what she wants to think rather than what her anger and indignation push her to think. She does manage to remove the negative thoughts, and is now able to calm her mind for meditation. She has managed a bit of meditation and is working on it.

She reads and her rewards are often books.

J. is exploring building a Reiki business to take over from her Child Minding business, which she finds tiring. She has space and is exploring possibilities of organisation and time available. She is also working on the wording of a flyer.

L. constantly puts herself down, telling herself she is a bad person because she thinks she is mean because, for instance, when she tips after a meal, she'll leave the standard tip, 10%....her husband will always leave more and believes in generosity at the expense of common sense - she thinks. She gets upset about this and tries to make him live by her rules of give and take, he refuses and this causes conflict. Because she wants to give less, she feels mean trying to make him give less. We have been through various explorations, for instance, she lived a week by his rules. Her challenge now is to get on with her own path, and focus on her positive traits.
We used the metaphor of a birthday party, where everyone who came put some money in a big bowl on the floor as a gift for the host whose birthday it was. If everyone was through a Ten pound note in, he would through a twenty in....whereas she would rather through in what she considers to be a fair amount, the same as everyone else £10. We discussed the fact that her rules being different to his doesn't meant that she is a bad person, she just has a strong sense of fairness and justice, liking to see balance between give and take.
She does not want to change him, so we have decided that, until her next coaching session, she will stick to focussing on her own path.

Listening is harder than you think. Trying to stop the brain from ticking over to the next point before the speaker has finished is a bit of a problem!

Listening

The latest actions to explore in life-coaching is Listening, Questioning, Metaphors & promoting Action.

There are 3 levels of Listening,

Level 1, the listener is hearing without full attention of what is being said; perhaps thinking of what you will say next or something you're looking in the vicinity or even drifting off on your thought processes.

Level 2, listening to the words only, within a business setting or such when the words are instructional and the person saying them is the messenger, in this case the content of what is being said is important and attention is focussed on that rather than who is speaking.

Level 3, When full attention is on the speaker as well as what is being said, listening with the eyes and identifying with the mood of the speaker. This conversation is far more likely to be relevant on a personal level to the speaker and/or the listener. The listener is looking for a deeper level of understanding of what is being said by the way in which it is being said.

There are Types of Listening...

Sympathetic; Empathic....feeling the conversation and identifying with what is being said... showing concerned by letting them know you can feel what they are going through...'I know what you mean.' or 'I've felt like that.' .... I know what it's like...

Active; Encouraging by positive interjections to keep the speaker speaking. Patiently 'helping' the speaker to expand on what they're saying.

Biased; Someone who has already decided what the listener is saying, they may finish the sentence off before the speaker has finished or interrupt before the speaker can finish. For example, they have made up their mind about the subject and are not looking to take on board further suggestions.

Disregarding; Listener is not actually listening, they are not 'attending' to what is being said, they are putting their attention elsewhere - object at hand or reading a paper, for instance.

Subliminal; Unconscious listening, background noise or the radio for instance. Only when something in the noise grabs your attention do you 'prick up your ears' and actively listen to what is being said or happening.

Affirmative; Agreeable listener who will encourage speaker to keep going, for example, when the speaker is passing on a shared point of view, or is showing that they have understood what has been said, i.e. a plan of action, as the speaker affirms they have understood, the listener interjects with comments such as 'That's right' 'Absolutely' 'Perfect' 'Good' etc.

Qualities of a good listener - in Life Coaching Terms.

Rapport

Had to read up a bit on Rapport for examples of recent conversations to become clear to me, for using in my assignment. I am going to use three examples...

Conversation with Ann, one with Helen and one with Craig.

Ann called me to book a Reiki session, she was very distressed and said she had a decision to make and couldn't work out what to do.

We arranged a Reiki session and when she came round I did a Reiki with crystals treatment and then went on to try a technique I'd read about in an Avatar booklet called 'releasing fixed attention', the idea is to focus on the problem then change the focus to something in the immedieate vicinity...this leads to taking control of the problem and deciding when it should receive attention and be thought about.
I found myself coaxing Anne into talking about her problem then getting her to talk about the Faerie photos I had to hand as a diversion.

The conversation progressed amiably, with Anne needing to be encouraged to define her options and realise that if she looked at the time scale of things she didn't need to make any hard decisions right now, she just needed to start the ball rolling.